Fisherman Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Simpson's invited their new neighbors the Parkers over to dinner. During dinner Mr Simpson asked Mr Parker what he did for a living.
4 year old Billy Parker jumped in and said
" Daddy is a fisherman!"
To which Mrs Parker replied" Billy why do say that? Your daddy is a stock broker not a fisherman."
"No Mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says I just caught another fish."

After a day of ocean fishing, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying a bucket which contains two lobsters. He's approached by the Game Warden who asks to see his fishing license.
"Oh, I didn't catch these lobsters," the man says, "they're my pets. I come down to the water every day and whistle and these lobsters jump out. Then, I take them for a walk and return them at the end of the day."
The warden, not believing a word the man said, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me, then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.
"Ok, now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water," instructs the warden.
The fisherman turns to the warden with a sly grin and says, "What lobsters?"

Although fishing season hasn't opened and he has no license, the fisherman is casting for trout when a stranger approaches him and asks, "Having any luck?"
"This is a great spot. I took 12 out of here just yesterday," replies the fisherman.
"Really now. Do you happen to have any idea who I am?" asks the stranger.
"Nope, not really," the fisherman says.
"Well sir, meet the new game warden," he replies.
"Oh, I see," says the fisherman with a gulp. "Do you know who I am?"
"Nope, can't say as I do," answers the game warden.
"Meet the biggest liar in the county!" says the fisherman..

David, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another. He had to know The Secret. "Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using?" he asked. The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well." David thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left. The next day, David returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck. Just as the day before, there was yet a different man reeling in fish after fish. "Excuse me," asked David, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try?" "Well, I can, but I am not sure it will do you any good. I am using a bit of human appendix." more...

The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?"
"Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts.
"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger.
"Nope." "Well, meet the new game warden."
"Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?"
"Nope".
"Meet the biggest liar in the state."

Gary, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to give his luck a try. On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all but noticed that another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another. He had to know The Secret.

"Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using?" he asked.

The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well."

Gary thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left.

The next day, Gary returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck.

Just as the day before, there was yet a different man reeling in fish after fish.

"Excuse me," asked Gary, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try?"

"Well, I can but I am not sure it more...

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I. Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I. Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didnt know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I. Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman