Fisherman Jokes / Recent Jokes

Standing at the edge of the lake, a fisherman saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Another man was standing on the shore screaming for help.
The fisherman ran over to the man. "Help!" the other man started, "I can't swim! My wife's drowning! I'll give you $1000 if you save her!"
The fisherman jumps in the water, swims powerfully out to the drowning woman, puts his arm around her, and swims back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the
fisherman coughs up water, then says, "[cough] ok, bud, where's my' grand'?"
"But, this is my mother-in-law!"
The fisherman reaches into his pocket with a frown and says, "Just my luck. Ok, how much do I owe you?"

Two whales were swimming in the bay when they noticed the whaling boat that killed and harpooned their brother. The first whale says to the second whale, "Hey there is that boat that harpooned and killed our brother. Let's go swim underneath the boat, blow out of our blowholes, and then the boat will tip over, and all the fisherman will drown in the icy sea!!"

The second whale agrees, so they begin to get their revenge. They swim under the boat, blow out their blowholes, and sure enough, the boat capsizes and all the fisherman begin to drown.

The first whale turns to the second and says, "Now I know what we'll do. We'll swim around and eat up all these fisherman to really get back at them!"

The second whale turns to his brother and says, "I don't think so; I may do blowjobs, but I don't swallow sea men."

Ten common fishing terms explainedCatch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit. Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook). Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend. Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop. Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard. Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish. School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid more...

Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: Im not fishing, Im drowning worms.

Hungry Snake Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait.
Just then hehappened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm.
The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.
Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beerdown his throat and went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...

The FishermanOne day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family."You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!"The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?""Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer."And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.The businessman more...

Ten common fishing terms explainedCatch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit. Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook). Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend. Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop. Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard. Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish. School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid more...