Fisherman Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two old men were fishing off a bridge as they had done daily for many years. Suddenly a funeral procession came down the road. The one old man reeled in his line, lain down his pole, faced the street and bowed his head until the procession had passed. He then picked up his pole and started fishing again. The other fisherman was amazed and stated "I didn't know you were that religious." The other looked at him and said "Least I could do, we've been married 42 years!"
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help.
A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred dollars. ”
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, “Okay, where’s my hundred? ”
The man said, “Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother- in-law. ”
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How much do I owe you? ”
Fishing season hasnt opened and a fisherman who doesnt have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks: "Any luck?""Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday," he boasts."Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger."Nope.""Well, meet the new game warden.""Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?""Nope.""Meet the biggest liar in the state!"
There was a fly above the water. Under the water was a trout. It was thinking "if that fly would drop, I could eat it."
On the riverbank was a bear. Behind the bear was a fisherman. He was thinking "If the fly dropped, the bear would get the trout, and I could get the bear instead of fishing with cheese."
Behind the fisherman was a mouse and behind that was a pussy cat.
Well fly dropped, trout got fly, bear got trout, fisherman got bear. Mouse got the cheese. Pussy jumped for mouse, missed and fell in water.
Moral of story- If fly drops, pussy gets wet.
Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon
realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he
happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a
worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him
of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no
lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer
down his throat and went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms
in his mouth...