Fit Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose
they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to
his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his
knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.

'You have to be fit to play cricket, don't you?'

'You certainly do. I get up at five, run for two miles, come back and do four hours of exercises'

'How long have you been doing it?'

'I start tomorrow.'

What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive? Her ankles. What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball? You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball. What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball? You could eat a bowling ball if you had to. What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball? You can`t fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball. How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they always come back for more. What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers? Sorority girls cost less per score. What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant? About 40 lbs. How do you equalize the two? Feed the elephant. What`s the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning? Walks home. What`s the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic? Only 1500 went down on the Titanic. How can more...

January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into the typewriter.
March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said "2-4 years".
April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.
June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.
August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down.
September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."
October - Hates M &M's because they are so hard to more...

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a more...

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh"..... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours..... power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid..... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing..... couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm..... car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C"..... isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's..... they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days..... more...

How do you manage to keep so fit for a match?'
'I think nothing of getting up at five, running round the park for two hours, then getting in three or four hours net practice before a cold bath.'
'That's funny. I don't think much of it either!'