Fitness Jokes

British Military Officer Fitness Reports
The British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”….
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
- I would not breed from this Officer.
- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t-be.
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. - He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
- Technically sound, but socially impossible.
- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- When he joined my ship, this Officer was something more...

British Military Officer Fitness ReportsThe British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form usedfor Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following areactual excerpts taken from people's "206's".... - His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. - I would not breed from this Officer. - This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be. - When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. - He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. - He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle. - Technically sound, but socially impossible. - This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. - This young lady has delusions of adequacy. - When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably. - more...

Fitness Philosophy - JokesGalore Style! My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the hell she is! The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up? I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. I don't jog... it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Two men were discussing the importance of fitness in the game of cricket. Said the fat one,' When I'm at the crease, my body is highly tuned and as taut as a bowstring. The bowler comes up, bowls and my brain snaps out a command to my body to get quickly behind the line, raise the bat and execute a perfect stroke.'

'Then what happens?'

'My body says:' Who me?'

British Military Officer Fitness Reports

The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. - He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young lady has delusions of more...