Flag Jokes / Recent Jokes
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring.
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....
The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like more...
Italy won the World Cup and now all my Italian-American friends are walking around with Italian flag t-shirts. That damn flag always makes me want pizza.
But whatever your ethnic background, I want you to know that I think it sucks dick and I hate you for being so proud of it. You have no control over your background. I'm Italian myself, but I don't act like it's some kind of an achievment. It's not like I saved up to be Italian. We don't have some story in my family that goes, "Son, when we came to this country, we were Mexicans, but through hard work..."
By the way, Italian-flag-waving-American-imbeciles, Italy fucking hates Italian-Americans. The reason your family came here in the first place was because they didn't want you in Italy. Do you actually think that real Italians are into gold chains and velour sweat suits, you tacky, hairy animals?
Your pal,
Kurt
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them."The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars, too!"
Robotic Arm Extends White Flag
The French space program took a significant step backward today as the European Space Agency announced that a much-heralded French Mars probe surrendered just moments after landing on the red planet.
The probe, which had been expected to travel extensively across the surface of Mars to collect and analyze rock samples, stunned the French nation by surrendering only eight seconds into its mission.
As millions of astonished Frenchmen watched on national TV, the probe extended a robotic arm -- designed to scoop up rocks from the surface of Mars - and raised a white flag aloft, waving it back and forth.
The probe then used a robotic shovel to dig a hole in the Martian surface before disappearing into the hole, apparently hiding.
At a press conference in Paris, French President Jacques Chirac denied that the probe had surrendered, arguing, "This mission was always intended to be eight seconds long. more...
Did you hear about the flag's birthday? It was a Happy one!
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."