Fleet Jokes

A huge fleet of the english army came to a hill, on the bottom of the hill, there was a forest of trees. Just before the king was about to go down into it he heard a voice from the forest it yelled,

" ONE IRISH MAN WILL DEFEAT THE WHOLE ENGLISH ARMY!!"

The king was outraged and he sent two of his best knights down. After much clashing of swords there was blood curdling screams and all was silent.

Again the king heard
" ONE IRISH MAN WILL DEFEAT THE WHOLE ENGLISH ARMY!!"

He was now so furious that he sent twenty of his knights down. There were screams of agony and pain...then all was quiet.

again they heard
" ONE IRISH MAN WILL DEFEAT THE WHOLE ENGLISH ARMY!!"

The king was know seeing red and in his fury he sent the remaining of his fleet down to the forest. There were screams an clashing of swords and then all was quiet.

The king was dumbfounded!! But one of his more...

When the indians were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from russia to explain the indian air force & army the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from russia because india buys their planes from russia)
So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor told the indian army ” this has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left is to go left and the one on the right is to go right. ”
The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked ” but sir, how will we get down? ”
The instuctor replied “oh! Leave that to the pakistanis”

What the 24th century would be like under today's management
techniques.
After the crew is told they are now Empowered, Dr. Crusher
begins doing medical experiments on unsuspecting enlisted personnel
while Worf slaughters everyone he considers "weak".
Data fails an ISO9000 audit because the construction of his
positronic brain isn't properly documented. He curses Dr. Suhn's
record keeping as he's stripped for parts.
All members of the ship's maintenance crew are required to be
involved in Quality Circles. The loss of productive work time causes
them to cut back on scheduled repairs, resulting in a warp core
breach that kills everyone.
Commander Riker is fired after a round of "right sizing". Star
Fleet decided that it didn't really need someone to seduce alien
females and smirk a lot.
As part of the new Dignity Enhancement program, Picard is
forced to allow Troi to wear uniforms that cover her more...

The following circulated among us MEN in the Army - just goes to show that we didn’t take ourselves TOO serious:
I am the Infantry, Queen of Battle! I sit tight, stoned out of my squach while my country’s representatives meet the enemy face-to-face and will-to-will across the peace table. For two centuries I have been the weak link in our nation’s defense, I am the Infantry! Follow Me?
Both easy victories and well-covered-up defeats I have known. Frankly, I owe a lot to friendly historians.
In the Revolution I spent most of my time slinking around out of uniform taking potshots at British troops from behind rocks. I invaded Canada, and even that was a failure. My best general went over the the British. For a while there I didn’t know whether to shit or wind my watch, but the French navy pulled my chestnuts out of the fire.
I took on Britain again in 1812 thinking she’d be too busy with Napoleon to notice. I invaded Canada again and got beaten again. On my more...