Flour Jokes / Recent Jokes

A farmer and his daughter were coming back from town with their money from some sales and a large sack of flour when all of a sudden these highway men held them up and robbed them of everything.

A few minutes later the farmer exclaims, "We're ruined, all the money's gone and there's no flour for bread!"

His daughter says, "No, papa, I hid the money in my you-know-what."

The farmer said, "You're a good girl, but if your mamma was here -
she could have saved the sack of flour as well!"

See Mother. See Mother laugh. Mother is happy. Mother is happy about
Christmas. Mother has many plans. Mother has many plans for Christmas.
Mother is organized. Mother smiles all the time. Funny, funny Mother.
See mother. See mother smile. Mother is happy. The shopping is all done. See
the children watch T.V. Watch children, watch. See the children change their
minds. See them ask Santa for different toys. Look, look, Mother is not
smiling. Funny, funny Mother.
See Mother. See Mother sew. Mother will make dresses. Mother will make
robes. Mother will make shirts. Look... Mother put the zipper in wrong.
See Mother sews the dress on the wrong side. See Mother cut the skirt too
short. See Mother put the material away until January. Look, look, see
Mother take a tranquilizer. Funny, funny Mother.
See Mother. See Mother buy raisins and nuts. See Mother buy candied
pineapple and powdered sugar. See Mother buy flour and dates and pecans more...

When you mix flour and water you get glue. Right?
When you mix flour, water, eggs, and sugar you get cake. Right?
I used to wonder..."What happened to the glue?"Then I came to know that the glue is what makes the cake stick to your butt!

Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.
Remove blocks and toy autos from table.
Grease pan, crack nuts.
Measure two cups flour;
Remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby.
Remeasure flour.
Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter.
Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor.
Get another bowl.
Answer doorbell.
Return to kitchen.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Wash baby.
Answer phone.
Return.
Remove 1/4 inch salt from greased pan.
Look for baby.
Grease another pan.
Answer telephone.
Return to kitchen and find baby.
Remove baby's hands from bowl.
Take up greased pan, find layer of nutshells in it.
Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table.
Wash kitchen floor, table, wall, dishes.
Call baker.
Lie down.

It was Chanukah and the Tiny Village was in fear of not having any latkes because they had run out of flour. Rudi, the Rabbi was called upon to help solve the problem. He said, "Don't worry. You can substitute matzo meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!"
Sheila looks to her husband and says, "Morty... you think it'll work?"
"Of course! As everybody knows... Rudolph, the Reb, knows grain, dear!""