Folks Jokes / Recent Jokes
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way up to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I have to be on this flight, and it has to be FIRST CLASS!"
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without even hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began saying, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate, WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate, it would be most more...
An old couple in an old folks home are having an affair, nothing much they just sit watching TV late at night while the old woman holds the old mans dick. Then suddenly the old man ends the affair because of another woman. The old woman's distraught and yells, "WHAT'S THIS OTHER WOMAN GOT THAT I HAVEN'T!" The old man smiles and says, "Parkinson's disease"
A mechanical engineer died & went to heaven. Upon arrival Saint Peter checked "THE BOOK" and didn't find his name, so he informed the engineer that he must get on the elevator and go DOWNSTAIRS. Reluctantly the engineer boarded the elevator for the long trip DOWNSTAIRS and upon arrival in hell found that he was very uncomfortable due to the excessive heat. He asked to see the devil and was granted an interview, at which time he requested a large of materials with which to build an air conditioner. The devil replied that he could have anything he wished, and what he couldn't find, they would steal. So the engineer spent a month and a half building an air conditioner, which, when completed, cooled hell off only a few degrees. Somewhat unsatisfied the engineer requested additional materials, with which he spent another month and a half building a sprinkler system to add to the cooling effect of his air conditioner. Hell was getting much cooler now and folks were beginning to more...
Some folks have it, some don't.
Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.
Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.
Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.
Many of those who don't have it would like to try it (e-mail envy).
It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.
In the past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
If you don't apply the appropriate measures, it can spread viruses.
If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
If you're not careful what you do more...
It has come to prove that male who are admitted in hospitals heal fast because the famale nurses wear short dress and the sick male eye are always rolling to see the female nurses thighs and bottoms evenif the sick male folks have broken necks.
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into Clancy's local pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again.
The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers. Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town.
"I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"
"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers. One went to America and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."
The bartender and the more...