Fondle Jokes

Two men are in a doctor's office. Each of them are to get a vasectomy. The nurse comes into the room & tells both men "Strip & put on these gowns before going in to see the doctor to have your procedures done."
A few minutes later she returns & reaches into one mans gown & proceeds to fondle & ultimately begins to masturbate him. Shocked as he was, he asks, "Why are you doing that?" To which she replies, "We have to vacate the sperm from your system to have a clean procedure." The man, not wanting to be a problem & enjoying it, allows her to complete her task.
After she is through, she proceeds to the next man. She starts to fondle the man as she had the previous man, but then drops to her knees & proceeds to give him oral sex.
The first man, seeing this, quickly responds, "Hey! Why is it that I get masturbated & he gets a blowjob?"
The nurse simply replies, "That, sir, is the difference between an HMO & Blue Cross & more...

Women:
Car Parking:
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Caroline Wizz (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11:15am in Ropergate, Pontefract and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement, 8 hours 14mins later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the two adjoining cars, as well as shop frontage and two lampposts.
Incorrect Driving:
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on, was one of 313 miles from Stranraer to Hollyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn, at the wheel of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird, but pressed on to Hollyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
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