Football Jokes / Recent Jokes

I think this family is from Broady (Broadmeadows). Broadmeadows is a suburb of Melbourne Australia with a good reputation. There is no love lost between the following 2 AFL Football Teams.

A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel sports, the son picks up an Essendon football jumper and says to his 20 year old sister "I've decided to become a Bomber supporter i would like this for Christmas".

His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield and says, "Go talk to Mum". Off goes the little lad with Essendon jumper in hand to find his Mum.

"Mum?"

"Yes son?"

"I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas".

The mother is outraged by this and throws her moccasins and full V. B. tinnie at him, promptly whacks him around the more...

A boy and a girl were walking from school one day and the boy says "
I have a skateboard skateboards are for boys only"
.
hearing this the girl asked her mum for a skateboard.So the next day they were walking home and the girl shows the boy her skate board. And the boy said "
Well footballs are for boys you cant have one"
To this the girl asked her mum for a football.
And on the next day they were walking home and the girl showed the boy her football and the boy said"
ok then"
and he pulled his pants down and said "
Your mum cant posably buy you one of these"
So the next day they were walking home and the boy said"
you cant tell me you've got one"
And the girl pulled her pants down and said "
my mummy said "
As long as I have one of these I can get as many of them as I want"
.

A Tucson Arizona cable television provider has apologized to area customers after 30-seconds of porn was mistakenly shown during the Super Bowl. Customers angrily called when programming returned to the Super Bowl.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first Steelers game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling 'Get the quarter back!'"

An Alabama fan was driving down a country road when he came upon two Auburn football players hitchiking. He told the Auburn players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Alabama fan scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at the lake, the two Auburn football players were still sitting in the bed of the truck looking frantic.
As the truck began sinking the Bama fan yelled for the Auburn players to get out truck, to which they replied, "We`re tryin` to get out, but we can`t get the dang tailgate open!"