"Garn Collingwood" joke
I think this family is from Broady (Broadmeadows). Broadmeadows is a suburb of Melbourne Australia with a good reputation. There is no love lost between the following 2 AFL Football Teams.
A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel sports, the son picks up an Essendon football jumper and says to his 20 year old sister "I've decided to become a Bomber supporter i would like this for Christmas".
His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield and says, "Go talk to Mum". Off goes the little lad with Essendon jumper in hand to find his Mum.
"Mum?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas".
The mother is outraged by this and throws her moccasins and full V. B. tinnie at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Lets go talk to your father".
Off they go to Pentridge during visiting hours and find Boofa, his Dad. "Dad?"
"Yes son"?.
"I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in "THAT" and then kicks him from one end of the rec. room to the other for good measure.
About half an hour later they're all heading back home to Reservoir in the E. K. Holden. The mother turns to her son and says "Son I hope you have learnt something today"
The son says "Yes I have".
"Good son what is it.".
The son replies "I've only been an Essendon supporter for 3 hours and I already Hate you Collingwood Mongrels"!!!!.
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.