Jumper Jokes

I think this family is from Broady (Broadmeadows). Broadmeadows is a suburb of Melbourne Australia with a good reputation. There is no love lost between the following 2 AFL Football Teams.

A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel sports, the son picks up an Essendon football jumper and says to his 20 year old sister "I've decided to become a Bomber supporter i would like this for Christmas".

His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield and says, "Go talk to Mum". Off goes the little lad with Essendon jumper in hand to find his Mum.

"Mum?"

"Yes son?"

"I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas".

The mother is outraged by this and throws her moccasins and full V. B. tinnie at him, promptly whacks him around the more...

Temperatures and What They Mean 40 Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming. 35 Italian cars don't start. 32 Water freezes. 30 You can see your breath. Politicians begin to worry about the Homeless. 25 Boston water freezes. Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you. 20 Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream. You can hear your breath. 15 N.Y. City water freezes. Politicians begin to talk aobut the homeless. 12 You plan a vacation to Mexico. 10 Too cold to snow 5 You need jumper cables to get the car going. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you. 3 You plan a vacation in Houston. 0 Too cold to skate. American cars don't start. -5 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. -10 Too cold to think. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. -15 Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. You need jumper cables to get the driver going. -20 You plan a 2-week hot bath. -25 The mighty Monongahela freezes. Japanese cars don't more...

Temperatures
60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on. 50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat. 45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert. 40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming. 35 degrees - Italians cars don't start. 32 degrees - Water freezes. 30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia. 25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming. 20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther south. 15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you. 10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going. 5 degrees - American cars don't start. 0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts. -10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you step outside. -15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, more...

Degrees (Fahrenheit)
* 65 degrees:
Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
* 60 degrees:
Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
* 50 degrees:
Miami residents turn on the heat
* 45 degrees:
Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
* 40 degrees:
You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming
* 35 degrees:
Italian cars don't start
* 32 degrees:
Water freezes
* 30 degrees:
You plan your vacation to Australia
* 25 degrees:
Ohio water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming
* 20 degrees:
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South
* 15 degrees:
French cars don't start
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* 10 degrees:
You need jumper cables to get the car going
* 5 degrees:
American cars more...

How Cold Is Cold?

60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)

50 Miami residents turn on the heat

40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming

35 Italian cars don't start

32 Water freezes

30 You plan your vacation to Australia

25 Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming

20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further South

15 French cars don't start, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10 You need jumper cables to get the car going

5 American cars don't start

0 Alaskans put on T-shirts

-10 German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami more...