Foreign Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you call a foreign body in a chip pan?
An Unidentified Frying Object!
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New York.The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy. "I'll only marry you under three conditions." she said."Anything, anything," said the ambassador."First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!" The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation."Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in more...
This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM branch offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us guys find it rather funny.
---- Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)
Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform eratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.
Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can more...
Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough more...
How to clean your mouse...
This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem.
The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.
Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse.
Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.
Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.
Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.
Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.
Mouse balls are not more...
This one man comes to America from a foreign country. He is at a baseball game for the first time. While he is sitting in the stands, he sees a man hit a ball and then run. He notices everyone get up and start to scream "run." So the next time someone hits the ball he stands up and says "run ya bastard run." Now that he got the hang of it he did this every time the ball was hit. A few minutes later he sees a guy lay down the bat and walk towards first base, so he gets up and says "run ya bastard run." Every one started to laugh. He sat down in embarrassment and a man kindly leaned over his shoulder and said "he doesn't have to run." The man replied "why not?" He said "because he's got four balls." So the foreign man stood up and said..."walk with pride my boy!"
The following memo is from an un-named computer company and was sent to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious, however the engineers rolled on the floor.
"Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Due to the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive, however, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion more...