Foreigners Jokes / Recent Jokes

All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride's father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. "The weddin's off," he shouted, "Everybody bugger off!" Dismayed and muttering, the guests repaired to the parking lot, grumbling about their missed opportunity for free beer. One guest, a friend of the bride's father, held back, and approached him. "What's the problem?" he asked. "Someone stole a keg of beer, and some bastard fucked the bride!", exclaimed the father. The guest, taken aback, and rendered speechless, left the church, joining the other farmers. A few minutes later, the father reappeared and yelled "All right! Everyone back inside! The weddin's on again!" As the farmers filed back into the church, the friend again approached the father of the bride, and asked more...

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York Cityrestaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmenseated there are furiously masturbating. She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We areall berry hungry." The waitress begs the question, "So, how is whacking-off inthe middle of the restaurant going to help that situation?" One of the other Japanese men replies,"The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

Two English sheep in a field. One says to the other "I'm not feeling very well"The other turns around and replies"Shut-the-f*ck-up, or you'll get us all killed"Sent by paully

There was a scottsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. One of the little girls get curious and decide to lift up his kilt. They see he's not wearing anything under his kilt so one of the little girls takes a blue ribbon out of her hair and ties it around his thing in a nice little bow. They put his kilt back down and go to school. A little while after the man wakes up and natures calling. He finds the nearest bush, lifts up his kilt and looks down. He says in his scotish accent, "I don't know where ya been but ya won first prize." Sent by Alvin

A teacher in a rural area, attempting to broaden the outlook of her narrow-horizoned class, asked each student to write an essay on his views of foreigners. All turned in more or less acceptable pieces except for hard-bitten young Billy, whose essay, in full, was "All foreigners are bastards."The shocked teacher made no direct comment but devoted her next lecture to a description of Greek architecture, Roman law, English drama, German music, Italian poetry, Russian novels, Chinese philosophy, and African sculpture. She then asked the class to write another essay on foreigners.With beating heart, she reached Billy's paper. It said in full, "All foreigners are bastards. Some are cunning bastards."