Foreman Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

"Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and more...

The foreman laughed when a tiny old man in a plaid shirt applied for a job as a lumberjack.
"So, you think you can be a lumberjack? What's your experience?" asked the foreman.

"I've felled a million trees, single-handed," said the lumberjack. "Ever hear of the Sahara Forest?"
"You mean the Sahara Desert," corrected the foreman. "Sure...now!"

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. "Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back sweating like a pig. "Christ, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman. "6" she replied. "What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tommorow." The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. 'How many this time?" asked the foreman. "12" she said. The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning."The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly." He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a more...

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job."Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best.She came back sweating like a pig. ''Christ, how many trees did you cut down?'' asked the foreman.''6'' she replied.''What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow.'' The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted.'How many this time?'' asked the foreman.''12'' she said.The foreman says, ''That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning.''
The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, ''This is how to cut down trees really quickly.'' He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him more...

A steelworker walks into a construction site and applies for a job. The site foreman is impressed by his job references and past experiences. He looks fit and has a good personality. He is on the verge of offering the man a job when he notices a break of six months in the employment record.

The foreman asks "What were you doing for six months?"

The steel fixer shuffles his feet a bit and replies "There was an accident on site and I was injured with a disk cutter".

"That's awful", says the foremen, "Was it a bad injury"?

The steel fixer shuffles his feet even more and replies, "Its not something I would want passed around the site, but the disk cutter caught me in the groin and they had to amputate both my testicles in hospital later".

"Well I can see why you wouldn't want that known". Said the foreman. "You look fit enough now and your references are excellent so more...

A large oil field in Oklahoma suffers a disaster in the form of a huge rig
fire. The foreman, desperate to curtail the blaze, thumbs through the phone
book for Red Adair's number (Red is a famous oil-firefighter). Foreman finds
the number, calls, and is told that Red is unavailable, since he's fighting an
off-shore rig fire in Southern California.
Desperate, the foreman returns to the book and finds, listed under Red Adair,
a "Red ," advertising rig fire services at $100 per
hour. Since this is CONSIDERABLY cheaper than Adair anyway, the guy calls and
describes the situation. He is assured that someone will be on the scene
within the hour.
True to his word, within 45 minutes the foreman sees a vehicle approaching the
scene of the blaze at top speed. As it gets closer, he notes that it is a
grungy '68 pickup, with a load of JEDRs in the back. Without slowing,
the pickup drives directly into the middle of the fire, everyone more...

A man on a construction site 30 floors up had to go to the bathroom. He approached his foreman and told him that he was going down to use the facilities. The foreman told him he was crazy. By the time he got down and back he'd lose a half hour of time.
The foreman pushed a plank out over the edge of the building. He stood on one end and told the guy to go out on the other end and pee off. He told the man that they were 30 floors up and that his piss would turn into vapor before it reached the bottom. So the guy decided to take his advice.
Suddenly the foreman's cell phone rang and he jumped off the board to get it, allowing the peeing man to fall to his death!
At the inquest an electrician who was working on the 27th floor was asked if he knew what happened. "Not really, but I think it had something to do with sex."
The coroner said, "Sex, why do you think it had something to do with sex?"
The electrician replied, "I saw the man more...