Fortune Jokes / Recent Jokes
While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was just sitting there smiling and laughing. The motorist passed on by and went a couple of miles on down the road. All of a sudden he spun his car around and sped back toward the fortune teller. As he got closer to the still laughing fortune teller he began to slow down. He pulled up next to the woman and jumped out of his car and suddenly began slapping and beating her.A policeman passing by screeched to a stop and wrestled the man to the ground. After cuffing the man he stood him up and asked him, "What do you think you're doing?"After a moment the man replied,... "Well, I've always wanted to strike a happy medium."
A newly married man asks his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Darling," the woman replies sweetly, " I'd have maried you no matter who left you a fortune."
How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
A frog went to visit a fortune teller. "What do you see in my future?" asked the frog.
"Very soon," replied the fortune teller. "you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you."
"That's great!" said the frog, hopping up and down excitedly. "But when will I meet her?"
"Next week in science class." said the fortune teller.
A husband took his wife to play her first round of golf...
Nervous, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the largest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique lamp was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that lamp for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed more...
With the downturn in the tech industries, it is more important than ever to remember how the dot-com millionaires made a small fortune -- they started with a big one!
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.
Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."