Forty-five Jokes

The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him"):
1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship (colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active relationships with anyone else that have not yet been terminated.
Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a chance to get anywhere.
2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS: Both parties agree to hold the person who arranged the liaison (colloquially referred more...

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can understand them.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
Man said to God: "God, why did you amke woman so beautiful?"
God replied, "So you would lover her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God said: "So she would love you."
What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
Forty-five pounds.
And what is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
Forty-five Minutes

Don't Forget to read the "Fine Print"

PRE-RELATIONSHIP AGREEMENT:


The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him") being of sound mind and a bit overweight body:

1) FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship (colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active relationships with anyone else that have not yet terminated. Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a more...