Fought Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Polak was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued.
His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. "You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?" asked one of the muggers incredulously.
"Is that all you wanted?" moaned the Pole. "I thought you were after the $400 in my shoe!"
A Polak was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued.His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. "You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?" asked one of the muggers incredulously."Is that all you wanted?" moaned the Pole. "I thought you were after the $400 in my shoe!"
Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party. I get so bored I could scream.
-- Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone With the Wind"
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
-- Jeannette Rankin, first woman member of U.S. House of Representatives
It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it.
-- Robert E. Lee
Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no!
-- Hunter S. Thompson, on why he refused to cover the Gulf War
This country's only 200 years old and we've already had 10 major wars. We average a major war every 20 years in this country, so we're good at it! And it's a good thing we are; we're not good at anything else anymore... Can't educate our children, can't give health care to our old people -- but we can bomb the [bleep] out of your country.
-- George Carlin
Men, all this stuff you heard more...
Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same?
Nickname:
Godzilla: King of Monsters
Elvis: King of Rock
Year Career Started:
Godzilla: 1954
Elvis: 1954
Species:
Godzilla: Giant lizard
Elvis: Giant lounge lizard
Social Order:
Godzilla: Hangs with freaks
Elvis: Had (has?) Michael Jackson for son-in-law
Famous bug battles:
Godzilla: Fought giant caterpillar Mothra
Elvis: Outlasted the Beatles
Vocal quirks:
Godzilla: Terrible dubbing of his movies
Elvis: Never could lip-synch
Eating habits:
Godzilla: Would eat anything
Elvis: Would eat anything fried
Attire:
Godzilla: Played by fat man in rubber suit
Elvis: Was fat man in polyester suit
Alien encounters:
Godzilla: Traveled past Jupiter for Godzilla vs. Monster Zero
Elvis: Was believed to be aboard alien spacecraft on Independence Day
Crusades:
Godzilla: Fought pollution in Godzilla vs. Smog more...
Two old Italian men, Carlo and Giovanni, were sitting on a porch reminiscing about World War II.
"It was a real struggle," said Carlo
"I know what you mean," replied Giovanni.
"I remember I was struggling all the way. I fought and I fought, and I fought, and when I thought I was tired out, I found the strength to carry on fighting another day," Carlo reminisced.
"Yup," Giovanni concurred.
"But it didn't work, because in the end they made me join the Army anyway," concluded Carlo.
A Polak was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. "You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?" asked one of the muggers incredulously." Is that all you wanted?" moaned the Pole. "I thought you were after the $400 in my shoe!"