"War Quotes" joke

Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party. I get so bored I could scream.
-- Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone With the Wind"

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
-- Jeannette Rankin, first woman member of U.S. House of Representatives

It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it.
-- Robert E. Lee

Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no!
-- Hunter S. Thompson, on why he refused to cover the Gulf War

This country's only 200 years old and we've already had 10 major wars. We average a major war every 20 years in this country, so we're good at it! And it's a good thing we are; we're not good at anything else anymore... Can't educate our children, can't give health care to our old people -- but we can bomb the [bleep] out of your country.
-- George Carlin

Men, all this stuff you heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans, traditionally, love to fight.
-- Gen. George S. Patton in "Patton"

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein

I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.
-- Artemus Ward

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, a parliament or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.
-- Hermann Goering, Nazi Reichsmarshal and Luftwaffe chief, at the Nuremberg trials