Fourteen Jokes

A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, "But why?" he asked." Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly." Look, I'll give you a raise." "No," she said"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me." "Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off herunderwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look I haven't had this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, "Ha ha... my dear it's nature. Look I have it too...." "Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as well."

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks, "You want fries with that" because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but more...

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

The Inspector Generals of Police of the USA, the former USSR and India happened to be travelling together on an international flight. They exchanged notes regarding the efficiency and quickness of their respective police forces. The Russian IG claimed that they submit a report of a crime to their Home department within fourteen days.
The American IG went a step ahead and boasted that they did so within fourteen hours. The Indian IG of police who was listening to these tall claims with rapt attention gave a mysterious smile and said that they did things more efficiently in India. When questioned by his co-passengers he replied,' Our police in fact know a good fourteen days in advance about the nature, time and place of the crime that is yet to take place.'

A man is walking along the road, when he hears someone shouting "Twelve! Twelve!" over a fence. As he walks closer to the fence, they start shouting "Thirteen! Thirteen!"Curious, the man looks through a gap in the fence. Suddenly he's poked in the eye by a man on the other side, and as he lies there, clutching his head, the man hears "Fourteen! Fourteen!"