Fourth Jokes / Recent Jokes

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry. During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men's toilet, one of the boys came out and told her he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside and began hoisting the little boys up by their armpits, one by one. As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed for an elementary school child. "I guess you must be in the fifth," she said. "No ma'am" he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow. Thanks for the lift anyhow."

Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:
It is always darkest...Just before you flunk a test.
There is nothing new...under a rock.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with...a private jet.
A committee of three...gets things done when they are not fighting.
If you can't stand the heat...try Antarctica.
Better late than...absent.
A rolling stone...may dent the floor.
If at first you don't succeed...live with it.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry...and then blow your nose.
A bird in the hand is....better than a woodpecker on your head.
Early to bed, early to rise...and you will get the best cereal.
Two heads...are pretty scary.
It is better to light a candle than...to light a bomb.
A miss is as good as...a mister.
A penny saved...is not a lot.
Don't burn your bridges...or you'll fall in the lake.
Haste makes...sweat

Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:It is always darkest...Just before you flunk a test.There is nothing new...under a rock.A journey of a thousand miles begins with...a private jet.A committee of three...gets things done when they are not fighting.If you can't stand the heat...try Antarctica.Better late than...absent.A rolling stone...may dent the floor.If at first you don't succeed...live with it.Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry...and then blow your nose.A bird in the hand is....better than a woodpecker on your head.Early to bed, early to rise...and you will get the best cereal.Two heads...are pretty scary.It is better to light a candle than...to light a bomb.A miss is as good as...a mister.A penny saved...is not a lot.Don't burn your bridges...or you'll fall in the lake.Haste makes...sweat

After the test match, new rules need to be incorporated by ICC to give the other teams a perfect clarification
(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.
(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.
(3) While BATTING, more...

Four Aliens Land On Earth. They Each Learn A English Word. The First Alien Learns' Me, Me, Me, Me, Me'. The Second Alien Learns
'With Knives And Forks'. The Third Alien Learn' Because He Sold My Lollipop'. The Fourth Alien Learns' Hurrah! Hurrah!'. In
The Same Town A Man Dies. A Policeman Goes To The Aliens And Asks Them "Who Murdered The Man?" The First Alien Says
"Me, Me, Me, Me, Me." The Police Asks "With What?" The Second Aslien Says "With Knives And Forks." The Police Again Asks "Why?"
The Third Alien Says "Because He Stole My Lollipop?" And The Fourth Alien Says "Hurrah! Hurrah!"

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. He put four worms into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of semen.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of good, clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the minister reported the following results.
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in semen - dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
The minister asked the congregation - "What can we learn from this demonstration?

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said;
As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you wont have worms.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol; dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke; dead.
Third worm in sperm; dead.
Fourth worm in soil; alive.

Lesson:
As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms.