Fourth Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young 6-month pregnant lady boarded a bus and took a seat. She noticed a young man smiling at her and got humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth
move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.
The case came before the court, and when asked why he acted in such a manner, the man replied, "When the lady boarded the bus I
couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read, 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins.'
Then she moved under one that read, 'Sloans Liniments Remove Swelling.'
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read, 'William's Stick Did The Trick.'
I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read, 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.'"
He won the case.

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the Clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a homebuilder and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free."

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.

The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"

The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar.

I'm not totally more...

Flugg’s Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.
Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences; if you have none, someone will make one for you.
Franklin’s Rule: Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed.
Freeman’s Commentary on Ginsberg’s theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg’s Theorem. To wit: 1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. 2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. 3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can more...

I wish you all a HAPPY FOURTH.
I'd like to tell you now
Get a pencil; write this down
I'm gonna tell you how.
Pass it on to all your friends
Just tell them what you heard.
The way to have a happy FOURTH
Is buy a FIFTH on the THIRD!

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK." And sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."
The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"
The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." And he makes an eagle.
Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex more...

Only in Merry Olde England
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on
account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had
him arrested.
When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in
such a manner. His reply was:
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She
sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then
she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even
more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William
Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when on the
fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would
have prevented more...

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on.

The first surgeon said, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order".

The second surgeon said, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order".

The third surgeon said, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up everything is color coded.

The fourth surgeon said, "I like operating on politicians."

The other three surgeons looked at each other in disbelief. One of them asked why.

The fourth surgeon replied, "Because they are heartless, gutless, spineless, and their ass and head are interchangeable".