Fourth Jokes / Recent Jokes
There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of them thought was the fastest thing in the world. Well the first guy says, "I think a Concord Jet is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of sound." Well the second guy says, "Well I think I got you beat on that one! I think lightning is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of light and sound." Well the third guy says, "Well I believe i have both of you beat. The brain is the fastest thing in the world, because whenever you need something, it is right there for you." Well the fourth guys clearly states, "Well I have got you all beat! I think the anal sphincter muscle is the fastest thing in the world." The other three guys say really? Why's that? And the fourth guys says, "Well I was on a Concord Jet, it got struck by lightning, and I didn't know what to do. .. so I shit my more...
There are four stories on an apartment building. on the fourth floor there is a guy that likes to juggle chainsaws. on the third floor there is a guy that likes to run around naked and pee out windows.on the second floor there is a guy that likes to paint every thing green.And on the first floor there is a guy that likes to eat pickles and write letters.
One day the guy on the fouth floor is juggling chainsaws and drops one out the window. meanwhile the guy on the third floor is peeing out the window and somthing gets chopped off. the guy on the second floor takes it paints it green and throws it back out the window. the guy on the fist floor writes a letter to the guy on the fourth floor saying thanks for the pickel.
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don''t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I''m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn''t eat the mushrooms."
Three young men in Oklahoma were enjoying the upcoming Fourth of July holiday and wanted to apparently test fire some fireworks.
Their only real problem was that their launch pad and seating arrangements were atop a several hundred thousand gallon fuel distillation storage tank. Oddly enough, some fumes were ignited, producing a fireball seen for miles.
They were launched several hundred feet into the air and were found dead 250 yards from their respective seats.
Jim: Joe, I hear you just got married again. Joe: Yes, for the fourth time.
Jim: What happened to your first three wives? Joe: They all died, Jim.
Jim: How did that happen? Joe: My first wife ate poison mushrooms.
Jim: How terrible! And your second? Joe: She ate poison mushrooms.
Jim: And your third ate poison mushrooms too? Joe: Oh, no. She died of a broken neck.
Jim: I see, an accident. Joe: Not exactly. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms.
Jim: Joe, I hear you just got married again. Joe: Yes, for the fourth time.Jim: What happened to your first three wives? Joe: They all died, Jim.Jim: How did that happen? Joe: My first wife ate poison mushrooms.Jim: How terrible! And your second? Joe: She ate poison mushrooms.Jim: And your third ate poison mushrooms too? Joe: Oh, no. She died of a broken neck.Jim: I see, an accident. Joe: Not exactly. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms.
A young woman, several months pregnant, boarded a bus and sat opposite a young man, he smiled, and feeling embarrassed she changed her seat. But it was to no avail, for the young man smiled even more broadly when she sat down. Again she moved to another seat, he grinned and again after the fourth move, the young man just rolled up and roared with laughter. The woman complained and duly summoned him.
Judge: Well, young man, have you anything to say in your defense against this charge?
The young man: Well, your Honor, when the young lady entered the bus, her condition was obvious. However, that did not prompt my smile, but she sat under an advertisement that read: "Coming shortly - The Gold Rush Twins." The lady seemed indignant when I smiled and she got up and took another seat beneath a shaving stick advertisement, which read: "William's stick did the trick." She moved a third time and sat beneath a poster that read: "Sloane's liniments will remove more...