Frantically Jokes / Recent Jokes

A copywriter dies, and Saint Peter offers him a choice of Heaven or Hell. The writer asks to see both. Leading him to a doorway, Saint Peter says: "Here in Hell, we have a room just for copywriters." Inside, the writer sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips. "The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes" the devils scream. "Uh. .. better show me Heaven," the writer says. So up they go. "Here in Heaven, we have a room for copywriters too," Saint Peter says. Peering into the second room, the writer again sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips. "The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes" the devils scream. The copywriter protests, "But I thought you said this was Heaven!" St. Peter says, "Well, up Here, the work gets produced."

A blonde was speeding in a 30 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and walked up to the car. The police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for her driving license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle."

Little Johnny was at school when the teacher asked the class to come up with a sentence or a story containing the word "Lovely".
Well, Little Johnny was waving his hand in the air frantically. The teacher decided not to ask Little Johnny and picked Alice.
Alice got up and said, "Today it is sunny outside and the children are playing outside. What a lovely day!"
The teacher again did not want to ask Little Johnny who was still waving his hand in the air frantically. The teacher picked Billy to tell his story.
Billy got up and said, "I went to my sisters wedding last week. The church was decorated with flowers and ribbons. Everyone remarked that the bride and groom made a lovely couple."
By this time the teacher decided to ask Little Johnny since she could not think of anything he could say wrong with the word "lovely" in the story.
Little Johnny stood up and told his story. "The other day I was sitting at the dinning more...

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the emergency operator asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"