Freakin Jokes / Recent Jokes

(Forwarded by an American friend of Italian descent).
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a floating body. It is shipped with a 'NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled 'Garbitch'
My Computer is called 'My Freakin Computer,'
Dialup Networking is called 'Good Fellas',
Control Panel is known as the 'da Tote Board,'
Hard Drive is referred to as 'da trunk', and...
Floppies are them 'little Freakin plastic disc tings'.
Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and Grafitti.
OTHER FEATURES:
WINDOWS 98WINDAS 98
OKdo it I tell ya
Cancelhell more...

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELERDecember 8: 6: 00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life! December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have more...

A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out... I'm freakin' out... my pee's coming out in four streams." He says, "Get up on the table and I'll see what I can do." She gets up on the table, and as he's examining her, he starts to giggle. She says, "It's not funny. My pee's coming out in four streams." He says, "It won't anymore. I took the trouser button out of there."