Graphics Jokes

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of
Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you
have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding
the commands.

- The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
- It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a
floating body. It is shipped with a' NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
- Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled' Garbitch'
- My Computer is called' My Freakin Computer,'
- Dialup Networking is called' Good Fellas',
- Control Panel is known as the' da Tote Board,'
- Hard Drive is referred to as' da trunk', and....
- Floppies are them' little Freakin plastic disc tings'.

OTHER FEATURES:

* Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and Grafitti.
* OK= do it I tell ya
* Cancel = hell no
* Reset = dis is more...

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents,
each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

Topic 1 - How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays.
Step By Step, With Slide Presentation.

Topic 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll: Do They Grow On The Holders?
Round Table Discussion.

Topic 3 - Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat Up And Avoiding The Floor/Walls And Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.

Topic 4 - Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper And The
Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Topic 5 - The After-Dinner Dishes and Silverware: Can They Levitate And Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Topic 6 - Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote To Your Significant Other.
Helpline Support and Support Groups.

Topic 7 - Learning How To Find Things, Starting With Looking In The Right Place Instead Of Turning The more...

Topic 1
How to Fill up the Ice Cube Trays
(Step by Step with Slide Presentation)
Topic 2
The Toilet Paper Roll - Does It Grow on the Holder?
(Round Table Discussion)
Topic 3
Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and The Floor
(Pictures and Explanatory Graphics)
Topic 4
The Dirty Dishes and Silverware - Can they Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink and/or the Dishwasher?
(Examples on Video)
Topic 5
Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote to your Significant Other (Helpline Support and Support Groups)
Topic 6
Learning How to Find Things, Starting with Looking in the Right Place instead of Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming (Open Forum)
Topic 7
Health Watch: Bringing her Flowers is Not Harmful to your Health
(Graphics and Audio Tape)
Topic 8
Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost
(Real Life Testimonials)
Topic 9
Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit more...

Re graphics: A picture is worth 10K words - but only those to describe the picture. Hardly any sets of 10K words can be adequately described with pictures.

Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plactic discn thangs.
Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it more...