Winders Jokes

Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plactic discn thangs.
Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it more...

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
4. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
5. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
6. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achey-Breaky Heart
7. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
8. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
9. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
10. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
11. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
12. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
13. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.

How things would be different if Microsoft were headquartered in Georgia:
1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
4. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
5. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders' 95 would be an outhouse
6. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders' 95 theme song would be Achey-Breaky Heart
7. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
8. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
9. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
10. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
11. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
12. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
13. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.

A special Arkansas edition of Windows XP has been developed.
It is distinguished by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, and has a a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
Other differentiating features:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4- Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ARKANSAS EDITION:
OK... ats aw-right
Cancel... stopdat
Reset... try er agin
Yes... yep
No... noop
Find... hunt fer it
Go to... over yonder
Back... back yonder
Help... hep me out here
Stop... kwitit
Start... crank er up
Settings... settins
Programs... stuff more...

It has been brought to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas edition of Microsoft Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have received one of the Arkansas editions, you may need some help in understanding the commands. This particular edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP and displays a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate Flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
Instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
Additional features:
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = more...