"Microsoft Winders XP" joke

It has been brought to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas edition of Microsoft Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have received one of the Arkansas editions, you may need some help in understanding the commands. This particular edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP and displays a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate Flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
Instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
Additional features:
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = naaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
help = hep me out here
start = crank it up
stop = ternit off
settings = sittins
documents = stuff I done done
programs = stuff at does stuff
Also note that Winders XP does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to Winders XP:
addin mershene = calculator
colering book = a graphics program
jupe-box = CD player
inner-net = Microsoft Explorer
IRS = M/S accounting software
IRS2 = M/S accounting sofware with hidden files
pichers = a graphics viewer
tiperiter = a word processor
outhouse paper = notepad
We sincerely regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Arkansas edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.