Graphics Jokes / Recent Jokes

Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plactic discn thangs.
Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it more...

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the West Virginia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside West Virginia. If you have one of the West Virginia editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The West Virginia edtion may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.
And instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
Other features:
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes D shore
no = more...

You've been in graphics too long if...
by Chris Thornborrow

Most of your friends can pronounce Gouraud first time. When you fist heard that some people used 16 million colours you wondered whatever for and continued to write colour-map tables for correct highlights on objects. You remember comp. graphics when there weren't enough articles for you to read, none of them included the word PC and nobody ever asked the difference between raytracing and rendering. You insist that DOOM does not use raycasting. (Technically, as it was first introduced, and anyway, who plays games at your age?) Your partner knows the difference between scientific visualisation and photorealistic rendering, even though they wouldn't know a polygon from a camel. You think an SGI Indy is OK for a quick hack but not a real graphics machine. You remember discussing how one day there would be graphics hardware to support rendering in desktop machines and people laughed. You watched the Last more...

You've been in graphics too long if... by Chris ThornborrowMost of your friends can pronounce Gouraud first time. When you fist heard that some people used 16 million colours you wondered whatever for and continued to write colour-map tables for correct highlights on objects. You remember comp. graphics when there weren't enough articles for you to read, none of them included the word PC and nobody ever asked the difference between raytracing and rendering. You insist that DOOM does not use raycasting. (Technically, as it was first introduced, and anyway, who plays games at your age?) Your partner knows the difference between scientific visualisation and photorealistic rendering, even though they wouldn't know a polygon from a camel. You think an SGI Indy is OK for a quick hack but not a real graphics machine. You remember discussing how one day there would be graphics hardware to support rendering in desktop machines and people laughed. You watched the Last Starfighter in an empty more...

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia editions you may need some help understanding thecommands.The Georgia edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with abackground picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shippedwith a Daisy Duke screen saver.Also note: Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.Other features: Instead of an error message you geta winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape. OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over more...

You've been in graphics too long if...by Chris ThornborrowMost of your friends can pronounce Gouraud first time. When you fist heard that some people used 16 million colours you wondered whatever for and continued to write colour-map tables for correct highlights on objects. You remember comp.graphics when there weren't enough articles for you to read, none of them included the word PC and nobody ever asked the difference between raytracing and rendering. You insist that DOOM does not use raycasting. (Technically, as it was first introduced, and anyway, who plays games at your age?) Your partner knows the difference between scientific visualisation and photorealistic rendering, even though they wouldn't know a polygon from a camel. You think an SGI Indy is OK for a quick hack but not a real graphics machine. You remember discussing how one day there would be graphics hardware to support rendering in desktop machines and people laughed. You watched the Last Starfighter in an empty more...

It has been brought to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas edition of Microsoft Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have received one of the Arkansas editions, you may need some help in understanding the commands. This particular edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP and displays a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate Flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
Instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
Additional features:
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = more...