Fred Jokes / Recent Jokes
One evening, Frank was drinking at a bar when the bartender came over to tell Frank that he had a telephone call.
Frank had just bought another beer and he didn't want anyone else to drink it. So, Fred wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that read: "I spit in MY beer."
When Fred returned to his bar stool, there was another note beside his beer: "I spit in YOUR beer!"
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didnt you? Fred: I couldnt find one big enough for your nose.
Stacz looked over the backyard fence and admired Fred's wife while she sunbathed topless. The next day, Stacz corners his neighbor on the driveway saying, "Na, na, na, na. I saw your wife sunbathing in the backyard without her top on yesterday."
Fred was quite put out over the peeping incident and told Stacz he planned revenge.
That very evening, Fred noticed that Stacz' bedroom shades were up. Upon closer inspection, he notices Stacz' wife in the act of performing oral sex.
The very next day Fred calls out to Stacz, "Hey, Stacz, I saw your wife giving you a blowjob last night."
Stacz replies, "Na, na, na, na. I wasn't home last night."
Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today.. Cook: There is. Fred: No, there isnt. Theres only cheese pie. Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.
Fred: I'd love to be an actress. Harry: Break a leg then! Amy: Whatever for? Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.
One day Fred decided he wanted to take up deer hunting. So Fred went to the local sporting goods stored and asked the shopkepper. "I need a really nice gun to hunt deer with"The shopkeeper gave him a gun and said, "This gun is perfect for any deer"Taking the gun, and jumping into his Jeep the new hunter went into the woods to search for deer. While looking around for his new sport, he saw nothing. Then, when he was just about ready to give up he saw a Bear in the distance. Not wanting to waste this journey he took aim and, BOOM!! When the smoke cleared to his surprise, no bear. Suddenly, Fred felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning, he saw the bear." What the hell do you think you are doing?" asked the bear." I'm sorry, I did mean to, I'll never do it again!" whined Fred." Pull down your pants, just so you understand how serious I am" explains the Bear. Reluctantly, Fred does this and WHAM, the bear screws him up the ass. All pissed off more...
Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.