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Memorial Day Weekend Was Coming Up, And The Nursery School Teacher Took The Opportunity To Tell Her Class About Patriotism.

"We Live In A Great Country," She Said. "One Of The Things We Should Be Happy About Is That, In This Country, We Are All Free."

One Little Boy Came Walking Up To Her From The Back Of The Room. He Stood With His Hands On His Hips And Said...

"... I'm Not Free. I'm Four."

A political meet was going on & Atal Bihari, Nawaz sharief & Lalu were there.

Nawaz- Kashmair should be given to Pakistan & not to India.

Atal- you don't have any right on Kashmir.

Lalu whispered to Nawaz something and he changed his opinion.

Atal asked Lalu what did you say that he refused to take Kashmir.

Lalu: I said take Kashmir and get Bihar free.

There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater.
They attempted to rob a bank but got caught.
They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair.
The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go.
The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go.
The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go.
The Aggie went next. They asked him if he had any last words.
"I think if you plug the chair in, it'll work better."

Editor's Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow

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yo mama is so fat she said she wanted a water bed so she put a big blanket around the Pacifc ocean.

yo mama is so fat she sat on a dollar and out popped four quarters, she stepped on one of those quarters and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose

yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210......was on the SCALE"

yo mama is so fat when her beeper goes off everyone thinks shes backing up."

yo mamma is so fat she is on both sides of the family.

yo mamma is so fat the only way she can fit throw the door is saying I got the power

yo mamma is so fat when she got hit by a bus she said who threw that rock."

yo mamma is so fat when she had on yellow raincoat people called taxi

yo mamma is so fat when she jumped into the ocean everyone more...

There was a king who was memorizing a script to tell everyone in the land that everyone got free chocolate. But really it was filled with poison to kill them all. A guard walked by and said in a whisper, "Remember it is filled with poison, but do not say it is filled with poison. Understand?" The King responded, "Yes, I do."
The king was deaf in one ear so he often times missed what people say.
He walked up to the microphone. He said, "I know you all love delicous chocolate. So I've decided to give you all special gift. Who want's to know?" Everyone hollered out "I do!" So the king hollered, "Okay then! Free Poisonous Chocolate for all!"

To celebrate Christmas, a landlord says the first 3 customers who can present him with something to do with Christmas can have free drinks for the rest of the evening.

1st customer comes up and presents the landlord with a christmas card.

Nice one says the landlord - thats christmasy - free drinks for you

2nd customer comes up and gives the landlord some holly.
Nice one again, free drinks for you sir

Then the third customer comes up and hands the landlord a pair of used ladies knickers

” Bloody hell - what have these got to do with Christmas? ” Asks the landlord

” Their Carol’s! ” replies the customer!!!
Ha ha ha

As you know there is art of writing - and a matching art in reading. When this art is applied into travel brochures you will get this. Without wishing to suggest that the following translations always apply, nonetheless you might find the following terms to be of very amusing............... Brochure Term Translation
Pre-registered rooms Already occupied
Deluxe Standard
Standard Substandard
Light and airy No air conditioning
Majestic setting A long way from town
Picturesque Theme park nearby
Tropical Rainy
Options galore Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway Impossible to find or get to
Explore on your own Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts They've flown before
No extra fees No extras
Nominal charge Outrageous charge
Superior Two free shower caps
All the amenities One free shower cap
Plush Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes Gale-force winds
Open bar Free ice cubes