"Travel Brochure Decoded" joke

As you know there is art of writing - and a matching art in reading. When this art is applied into travel brochures you will get this. Without wishing to suggest that the following translations always apply, nonetheless you might find the following terms to be of very amusing............... Brochure Term Translation
Pre-registered rooms Already occupied
Deluxe Standard
Standard Substandard
Light and airy No air conditioning
Majestic setting A long way from town
Picturesque Theme park nearby
Tropical Rainy
Options galore Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway Impossible to find or get to
Explore on your own Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts They've flown before
No extra fees No extras
Nominal charge Outrageous charge
Superior Two free shower caps
All the amenities One free shower cap
Plush Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes Gale-force winds
Open bar Free ice cubes