India Travel Jokes

Ustad Zakir Hussain, the great tabla maestro, once checked into a hotel room after a hectic day. As the bell-boy escorted him to his room, the ustad told him that he didn't want to be disturbed for the rest of the day.

The bell-boy who hardly knew the English language, said,' As you wish, sir, may you rest in peace!'

A Manali hotel reassures guests about the drinking
water.

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
A hotel in Haridwar advises its guests.

It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please, and politely adds: If you are not a person to do such a thing, please not to read notice.

A Mumbai hotel concerned about morals advises: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
A notice in a Bangalore pub states:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the pub.

A sign at a Nainital campsite warns:

It is strictly forbidden on our campsite that people of different sex, for instance men and women, live together in one tent, unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

As you know there is art of writing - and a matching art in reading. When this art is applied into travel brochures you will get this. Without wishing to suggest that the following translations always apply, nonetheless you might find the following terms to be of very amusing............... Brochure Term Translation
Pre-registered rooms Already occupied
Deluxe Standard
Standard Substandard
Light and airy No air conditioning
Majestic setting A long way from town
Picturesque Theme park nearby
Tropical Rainy
Options galore Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway Impossible to find or get to
Explore on your own Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts They've flown before
No extra fees No extras
Nominal charge Outrageous charge
Superior Two free shower caps
All the amenities One free shower cap
Plush Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes Gale-force winds
Open bar Free ice cubes