Friendly Jokes / Recent Jokes
Managed Friendship Plan
Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship. Under Managed Friendship, your friendship needs are coordinated by your designated more...
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.
While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways...
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he more...
Managed Friendship Plan
Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about
friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines
all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important
cost-saving features.
How Does It Work?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened
accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are
met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
What's Wrong with my Current Friends?
If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from
a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old
neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly
duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends
may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with
inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship.
Under Managed Friendship, your friendship more...
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake more...
Managed Friendship PlanWelcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features.How Does It Work? Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.What's Wrong with my Current Friends? If you're like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship. Under Managed Friendship, your friendship needs are coordinated by your designated Best Friend, who will more...
A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."
- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.
- No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
- Friendly fire ain't.
- The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
- The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already had it mined.
- The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
- Incoming fire has the right of way.
- If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
- If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
- Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.