Fun Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on
a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the
Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The
Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy
and a lotta fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you
don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a
question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."
Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.
The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't
know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer,
I'll pay you $50!"
This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to
this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The
Programmer asks the first question. more...
sca humour
This is for all those who are familiar with the Society for Creative Anachronism. If you don't know what that means, you're not alone...
Disclaimer: If you are low on humor or feel that you have to defend the rights of fictitious people being made fun of: abort, delete or pay no attention to the following. In short, the following is all in fun and not meant to hurt anyone's feelings. Please post all personal flames directly to me and not the list. Thank you.
Today... Several SCA people were released from a hospital when it was realize brain damage and massive bruising were exceptable terms for being a Squire. While Knights suffered the same ailments, studies show that they just refuse to call it... into their doctors.
More Medical News... The feast-ocrat for the up coming event seems to have been found wondering the streets and despondent. Not having ID the police immediately knew who the person was as she kept mumbling the more...
Lab Reports
(to the tune of "Jingle Bells")
Dashing through the lab
with a tan page lab report
Taking all those tests
and laughing at them all
Bells for fire drills ring
making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
a chemistry song tonight.
Oh, lab report, lab reports,
reacting all the way
Oh what fun it is to study
for a chemistry test today, Hey!
Chemistry test, chemistry test
isn't it a blast
Oh what fun it is to take
a chemistry test and pass.
Fun in the bar
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar:
-------------------------------------
| Cheese Sandwich: $1. 50 |
| Chicken Sandwich: $2. 50 |
| Hand Job: $10. 00 |
-------------------------------------
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
A suspicious husband hired a private eye to check on the movements of his wife. In addition to a written report, the husband wanted a video of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a film. They sat down together and proceeded to watch it.
Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them strolling arm in arm and laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw them take part in a dozen activities with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," said the distraught husband.
"What's not to believe?" the detective said. "It's right up there on the screen!"
"I simply can't believe my wife could be so much fun!" the husband replied.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long
flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if
she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take
a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to
catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and
a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't
know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she
politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know
the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will
pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will
easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and
figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she
plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first more...
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two.
You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn’t that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?
You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the more...