Fun Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together.
So, the females yelled at the male parrots, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?"
One male parrot said to the other, "Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!"
Ms. Nice Guy - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have"Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormatAdvantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindlyDisadvantages: May wise up somedayOld Yeller - "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??" Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from HellAdvantages: Pays attention to youDisadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pansSickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite"Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, GlumpyAdvantages: PredictableDisadvantages: ContagiousThe Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Don't give me that look." Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes Mom Advantages: Often rightDisadvantages: Often right, but so what? Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my more...
A teacher said to her little student Suzy, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry." Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry!!!"
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5 and vice versa." Again, she declines and tried to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catch the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What is the distance from earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pull out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "OK," says the lawyer, "You more...
10 Things To Do In An Elevator To Have Fun
1. Blow out a huge depressed fart and blame it on the person next to you out loud.
2. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
3. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
4. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Show other passengers a rash on your genitals and ask if it looks infected.
7. Leave a box between the doors.
8. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
9. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask' is that your beeper?'
10. Say' I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.
Blondes may have more fun, but brunettes remember it the next day.
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but They only say "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some FUN?'" "That's terrible!", the priest exclaimed, "Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible, then my parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship." So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in and they say, "Hi, we are Prostitutes! Do you want to have some FUN?" One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and says, "PUT THE BIBLES AWAY! OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!!!"