Funny Stuff Jokes

The IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.-Conan O'Brien

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
[5] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[6] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
[7] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[8] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[9] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[10] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
[11] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
[12] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the more...