Future Jokes / Recent Jokes

WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside WinErr 013: Unexpected error more...

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A man will pay $2 for an item that costs $1 if he wants it. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want because it's on sale.
A woman worries about he future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and don't expect to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Any married man can forget his past mistakes: there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things.
A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a more...

A teacher asked one of the boys in her class,' Can people predict the future with cards?'
His response was,' My mother can.'
The teacher replied,' Really?'
The young boy was quick to explain,' Yes she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen my father gets home.'

A man will pay $2 for an item that costs $1 if he wants it. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want because it's on sale.A woman worries about he future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man.To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and don't expect to understand her at all.Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.Any married man can forget his past mistakes: there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things.A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change, and she does.A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Ms. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s)
you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply] ___ Your stomach is bigger than mine.
___ Your name is objectionable subjecting my future children to it could scar and yes, scare them for life.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy shoes by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ more...

> >>Man & Woman Story
> >>
> >>ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
> >>Smart man + smart woman = romance
> >>Smart man + dumb woman = affair
> >>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> >>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
> >>
> >>OFFICE ARITHMETIC
> >>Smart boss + smart employee = profit
> >>Smart boss + dumb employee = production
> >>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
> >>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
> >>
>>>SHOPPING MATH
> >>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> >>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
> >>
> >>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
> >>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> >>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
> >>spend.
> >>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >>
> >>HAPPINESS
> >>To be happy with a more...