Galloping Jokes

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out
of this highly dangerous situation?

If you do not know, scroll down to see answer below.
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GET YOUR drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

The cavalryman was galloping down the road, rushing to catch up with his regiment. Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground. Lying in the dirt with a broken leg, terrified of the approaching enemy, the soldier called out: "All you saints in heaven, help me get up on my horse!" Then, with superhuman effort, he leaped onto the horse's back and fell off the other side. Once again on the ground, he called to the heavens: "All right, just half of you this time!"

The cavalryman was galloping down the road, rushing to catch up with his regiment. Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground. Lying in the dirt with a broken leg, terrified of the approachingenemy, the soldier called out: "All you saints in heaven, help me get up on my horse!"Then, with superhuman effort, he leaped onto the horses back and fell off the other side. Once again on the ground, he called to the heavens:"All right, just half of you this time!"

He was just casually sipping his beer, relaxing and listening to the music. Suddenly, someone burst through the door. "Joe! Joe, your barn is on fire!"The man leapt up from the bar, ran outside, jumped on his horse and started galloping away. He rode for a couple minutes, then thought, "wait a minute... I don't have a barn!" So he turned around and went back to the bar and his beer.He was working on his second beer when another man came storming into the bar. "Joe! Joe! Someone is stealing all your cattle!"The man leapt out of his seat, got on his horse, and started galloping away. He rode for a few minutes and thought, "Wait a minute! I don't have any cattle!" So he turned around and returned to the bar.He was working on his fourth beer when yet another man stormed into the bar. "Joe! Joe! Someone is screwing your extremely beautiful wife!"The man leapt up, got on his horse and started galloping away. He rode for a few minutes and more...