Gear Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was Mr. Hardy's lifelong dream to go scuba diving, and one day he decided to do it. He went to a sporting goods store and spent a fortune on scuba diving gear. He got everything he needed and more - outfit, oxygen tanks - the works.

The next morning he drove out to a reef, put on his gear, and plunged into the ocean. As he dove deeper, he spotted a man swimming near the bottom in just his swimming trunks. Getting out his underwater notepad, Mr. Hardy scrawled a message ot the man that said, "How can you swim without scuba-diving gear?"

The man took the notepad from Mr. Hardy and wrote back, "I'm not swimming, you idiot! I'm drowning!"

There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving one day. So he went to the deepest part of the beach, got on his gear, and went underwater. He decides to go down 20 feet, and there he sees another guy with no equipment on. The man thought this was strange but we forgot about it and went down another 20 feet. There, he sees the same guy down there with no gear on. But the man decided to forget about it and go down another 20 feet.
When he does, he sees the same guy 60 feet underwater with no gear on. Finally the man writes a note asking this guy how he can go so deep underwater without any gear. The guy writes back, ”Because I’m drowning, asshole! ”

There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving one day. So he went to the deepest part of the beach, got on his gear, and went underwater.
He decides to go down 20 feet, and there he sees another guy with no equipment on. The man thought this was strange but we forgot about it and went down another 20 feet.
There, he sees the same guy down there with no gear on. But the man decided to forget about it and go down another 20 feet.
When he does, he sees the same guy 60 feet underwater with no gear on.
Finally the man writes a note asking this guy how he can go so deep underwater without any gear.
The guy writes back, ”Because I’m drowning, asshole! ”

Three men are sitting in a room smoking cannabis. After a few spliffs they run out of gear. One of the men stands up and says, "Look, we've got loads more tobacco, I'll just nip into the kitchen and make one of my speciality spliffs." Off he goes into the kitchen where he takes some cumin, turmeric and a couple of other spices from the spice rack, grinds them up and rolls them into a spliff. On his return he hands it to one of his smoking partners who lights it and takes a long drag. Within seconds he passes out. Ten minutes go by and he's still out cold, so they decide to take him to hospital. On arrival he is wheeled into intensive care. The doctor returns to his friends and asks, "So what was he smoking then? Cannabis?" "Well sort of," replies one of the guys, "but we ran out of gear, so I made a home-made spliff." "Oh," replies the doctor, "what did you put in it?" "Um, a bit of cumin, some turmeric, and a couple of more...

Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind."

One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What's with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, "Do you know more...

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg.
The Priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg. She immediately says "Father remember psalm 129".
The priest apologizes profusely and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on when he changes gear and has ogled at her leg for the zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again. The Nun once again says "Father remember psalm 129".
Once again the priest apologizes. "Sorry sister but you know the flesh is weak". Arriving at the convent the nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. Once he arrives at his church he rushes to the bible and looks up psalm 129 it said "GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY"
MORAL OF THE STORY - IN YOUR more...