Geography Jokes / Recent Jokes
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there
If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number
If you measure distance in hours
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once
If you have switched from' heat' to' A/C' and back again in the same day
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave the doors unlocked, you probably live in Oregon...
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction
If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash
If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee
If you know more people who own boats than air more...
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1066.
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."
A girl was intrigued at the kilt that a Scotsman was wearing, wondering what he would be wearing underneath.
"What's underneath your kilt?", she asked him.
"Why don't you take a look", he replied.
Curiosity overcoming her, she lifted the kilt, then let it go, "Oh, it's gruesome!"
"Well, why don't you take another look, it just grew-some more!!!!!"
Editor's Note: naturally we don't have enough room to catalog all of them, but here's the top ten.
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10. Won't acknowledge enormous cultural contributions of Jim Carrey and Howie Mandel.
9. We're pretty sure they're holding Wayne Gretzky down there against his will.
8. Every time we mention the city "Regina", they won't stop giggling.
7. Incredibly, they only have one word for "snow".
6. In American encyclopedias, Canada often called "North Dakota's gay neighbor".
5. They call it American cheese, even though it was invented by Gordon Lightfoot.
4. They've never even heard of our most popular superhero, Captain Saskatchewan.
3. Two words: "Weird Al".
2. Sick of that gap-toothed looser on "The Late Show with Paul Shaffer".
1. Not enough guys named "Gordie".
A father, visiting America, from Europe for the very first time, goes up and down the isles with his son at the local Giant Food Store.
"Vas diss? Powdered Orange Juice?"
"Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh' orange juice.'". .. A few minutes later, in a different aisle. .. "Und vas dis? Powdered milk?? "
"Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!". .. A few minutes later, in a different aisle. .. "Und give a look here! Baby Powder! Vat a country, vat a country!"