Geography Jokes / Recent Jokes
Your mamma so fat that when she irons her clothes she uses the driveway.
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,' Wow, these seats are big!'
The person next to him answered,' Everything is big in Texas.' When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed,' Wow these mugs are big!'
The bartender replied,' Everything is big in Texas.' After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied,' Second door to the right.'
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,' Don't flush, don't flush!'
ALABAMA: Hell, yes, we have electricity!
ALASKA: 11,623 Eskimos can't be wrong!
ARIZONA: But it's a dry heat!
ARKANSAS: Literacy ain't everything!
CALIFORNIA: By 30, our women have more plastic than your Honda!
COLORADO: If you don't ski, don't bother!
CONNECTICUT: Like Massachusetts, only the Kennedys don't own it yet!
DELAWARE: We really do like the chemicals in our water!
FLORIDA: Home of the headless drivers!
GEORGIA: We put the "fun" in fundamentalist extremism!
HAWAII: Haka tiki mou sha'ami leeki Toru. (Death to mainland scum, leave your money.)
IDAHO: More than just potatoes. .. well, okay, we're not, but the potatoes sure are real good!
ILLINOIS: Please don't pronounce the "S"!
INDIANA: Two billion years tidal wave free!
IOWA: We do amazing things with corn!
KANSAS: First of the rectangle more...
A curious fellow died one day and found himself in limbo waiting in a long, long line for judgment. As he stood there, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven. Others were led over to Satan, who threw them into a lake of fire. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss him or her to one side.
After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the better of him. He strolled over and tapped Satan on the shoulder.' Excuse me, there, Your Darkness,' he said.' I'm waiting in line for judgment, and I couldn't help wondering why you are tossing some people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?'
' Ah,' Satan said with a grin.' Those are Seattle-ites. I'm letting them dry out so they'll burn.'
* You've never met any celebrities.
* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
* "Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland.
* You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
* You measure distance in minutes.
* Down south to you means Kentucky.
* You know several people who have hit a deer.
* You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."
* Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
* Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
* You know where all the Yoders live.
* You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
* You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
* You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
* You know what's knee-high by more...
know why the ice cap is shrinkin too eskimoes are makin iglus because of house shortages
Your mamma so fat, stupid and clumsy sha tried
to get to wal-mart stumbled of k-mart and landed right on target