Giant Jokes / Recent Jokes

How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper? The elevator was broken!

Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?
You didn't?! It's all over town!

Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid.
It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain, the Giant would kick him into the ocean. Trids are notoriously bad swimmers, and frequently drowned when kicked into the ocean.
The Trids were a very sexual people, and the population had grown quite large. Every square inch of the island, except the mountain, was crowded with Trids.
The Trids spent their days crowded together, dreaming of the open space available on the ever visible mountain. Every few days, a Trid would decide he couldn't stand the crowds any more. He would start to climb the mountain, and the Giant would kick the Trid into the ocean.
The Trids were a very depressed people.
One day a traveling Rabbi visited the Island of Trid. Despite their overcrowded conditions, the Trids were more...

Microsoft Trademarks the Trademark Symbol By Vince Sabio HumourNet Communications, Ltd. REDMOND, Wash (UPI) - Software and marketing giant Microsoft Corporation (MSFT) announced today that it has purchased the rights to the well-known "trademark" symbol, formerly denoted as "tm" in most print media. The symbol is commonly used to identify commercial product names that have not yet been registered with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. "It was a natural," commented John Schexnader, of Microsoft's Ministry of Information. "Several of us were sitting around after a board meeting a few months ago, and we were talking about what we should buy next. We were tossing around the idea of purchasing a country or two in South America, as kind of a follow-up to Sun Microsystems' trademark-infringement claim against The Island Formerly Known As Java, when it occurred to us that there are no countries named 'ActiveX.' We talked about changing the name of more...

A Buddhist and a Hindu went skydiving together. As they prepared to jump, the Buddhist said, "If anything should go wrong-"
"Nothing will go wrong," said the Hindu. "But if it does, God will save me."
"Not a chance," the Buddhist said, "Because there IS no God. There is only your Essential Buddha Nature." The Hindu scoffed at this.
The pair leaped out of the plane. Halfway down, they discovered that their parachutes wouldn't open.
"My God!" screamed the Hindu. "Save me!" But he continued to plummet.
Just then he heard the Buddhist say, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature." Immediately, a giant hand came out of nowhere, cradled the Buddhist in its palm and gently began lowering him to earth.
The terrified Hindu too cried out, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature!" With that, another giant hand appeared, cradled the Hindu in its palm and started gently more...

1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilisation where FTL travel is common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.

2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year old with a slingshot.

3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.

4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by their opponents.

5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."

6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms hopes to sell to small children.

7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.

8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black more...

Are Major Asteroid As Dangerous As Predicted? The Answer Arrives in 2003
London (SatireWire.com) — Disappointed after failing to take advantage of Earth's relatively near miss with a large asteroid on Monday, scientists today excitedly unveiled what they called an "asteroid chute" that they said will direct the next massive space object directly into Earth's path, where it can be studied more closely.
Scientists hope the redirected asteroid, now expected to strike Earth by June of 2003, will also settle a pair of long-running debates: Did an asteroid cause the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago? And what size must an asteroid be in order for it to render a planet uninhabitable?
According to Michael Banio of Great Britain's Royal Astronomical Society, asteroid "2001 YB5" passed within 375,000 miles of Earth on Monday, but it was still too far away for useful studies to be conducted. And because YB5 was not discovered until December, more...