Ginger Jokes / Recent Jokes
Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called "Gilligan's Island." There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct representation of Hell.
Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:
Ginger represents LUST - she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac.
Mary Ann represents ENVY - she is jealous of Ginger's beauty.
The Professor represents PRIDE - he is an annoying know-it-all.
Mr. Howell represents GREED - no explanation needed.
Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH - she has never lifted a finger to help on any of their escape plans.
The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY - again, no explanation needed and ANGER - he violently hits Gilligan on each show.
This leaves Gilligan. Gilligan is the person who put them there. He prevents them from leaving by more...
How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing robe and towel on head. If you happen to see husband along the way, ignore juvenile "turban-head" jokes and run to bathroom.
3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and stick out stomach so as to complain about how fat you're getting.
4. Turn on hot water only.
5. Get in the shower, once you've found it through all the steam.
6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
7. Wash hair once with cucumber and lemon shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
8. Rinse hair. Condition your hair with cucumber and lemon conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
9. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red and raw.
10. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger more...
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriends father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!"
The woman thought, "this is great!" and a big smile came across her face.
A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "dammit more...
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman thought, "this is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "dammit Ginger!" more...
Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, only backwards and in high heels.
Q. What do you call a ginger bread man wit one leg? A. Limp biskit
There was a blonde a brunette and a ginger stranded on an island with no food or water the only water there was, was the deep blue sea in front of them, after a week the ginger started to feel hungry and knowing the mainland was only 20 miles over the sea she decided to smim.So she swam and only managed to get 5 miles until she got eaten by a shark!
A week went on and the brunette started to feel alone even though the blonde was there she also felt very very thirsty and hungry so she decided to jump in and give it ago but only got 10 miles before she drowned and died.
So this leaves the blonde all alone on a stranded island with no food no water and nobody to talk to, so she thinks what have I got to lose its not as if anybody is counting on me so she jumps in the water she manged to get 15 MILES YES 15 MILES until she got tired and decided to swim back!!