Giraffe Jokes / Recent Jokes

a man and a giraffe r sitting in a pub the giraffe suddely dies the bartender says ure no just gonna leave that lien there he says its not a lion its a giraffe

A mouse and a lion walk into a bar, and they're sitting there chugging away at a few ales when a giraffe walks in.

"Get a load of her" says the mouse, "I fancy that!"

"Well, why not try your luck?" says the lion.

So the mouse goes over to the giraffe and starts talking to her, and within five minutes they're out the door and gone into the night.

Next day, the lion is in the bar drinking away, and the mouse staggers in. And I do mean "staggers". The mouse is absolutely stuffed, worn out, ruined, an ex-mouse (and no, it wasn't Ex-Mouse Eve ).

The lion helps his pal up on to a stool, pours a drink down his throat and says "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?"

The mouse says "Yeah, she was really something else - we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to more...

Why wasn't the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck to talk to.

Q. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? A. Open the fridge, put it in, and close the door. Q. How do you put an elephant in the fridge? A. You open the door take out the giraffe, put the elephant in, and close the door. Noah invited all the animals to a meeting on how to cross the alligator infested waters. Q. How did they do it? A. They walked across. The alligators were at the meeting. Q. Who wasn't at the meeting? A. The elephant, he was in the fridge.

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
3) The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?
The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
4) There is a river you must cross. But it is filled with crocodiles. How do you manage it?
You swim across - all the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?" Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up his/her hands. "See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal." See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?" Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father." Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."

Whats worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? An aardvark with the sniffles!