Giraffe Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For
no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink
with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago
wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can,
sending him flying way off into the jungle.
"Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.
"When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied.
"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.
"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and says, “A beer for me, and one for the giraffe, please. ” So they proceed to drink. Then: “…a shot for me and one for the giraffe, too” And they keep drinking all evening. Finally the giraffe passes out on the floor of the bar. The guy pays the tab and gets up to leave. The bartender shouts out, “Hey! You’re not going to leave that lying on the floor, are you? ” The guy replies “That’s not a lion… it’s a giraffe. ”

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies, "That's not a lion! It's a giraffe."

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He walks up to the bar and takes a seat. The giraffe does the same. The man orders a beer for himself, and a double scotch for the giraffe. They both proceed to drink, and, after a while, they order the same again.
They continue all night, ordering the same drinks, drinking them, and ordering another load, untill suddenly, the giraffe falls off his stool, and lies unconscious on the floor. The man gets up of his stool and heads for the door.
The barman shouts at him as he heads out the door "You can't leave that lyin' 'ere!"
The man replies, "Its not a lion, its a giraffe!"

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a' professional smart person' by your friends. You can scroll down for answers. There are 4 questions. They are not that difficult. 1)How do you put an elephant into a refridgerator? ****Answer: Open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door. * 2)How do you put a giraffe into a refridgerator? ****Answer: Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. * 3)The animals are having an animal meeting. All the animals attend except for one. Which one does not attend? ****Answer: The giraffe. The giraffe is in the refridgerator. * 4)You must cross a crocodile-infested river. How do you manage it? ****Answer: You swim across. All of the animals are attending the animal meeting.

Pigs are the fourth most intelligent animal in the world.
Pig's Tongue contains 15,000 taste buds. For comparison, the human tongue has 9,000 taste buds
Dinosaurs didn't eat grass? There was no grass in the days of the dinosaurs.
A crocodile's tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth? It cannot move. It cannot chew but its Digestive juices are so strong that it can digest a steel nail, Glass pieces, etc
Sharks are immune to disease i.e they do not suffer from any Disease.
Animals are either right- or left-handed? Polar bears are always left-handed, and so is Kermit the Frog.
Ants don't sleep.
The eyes of the chameleon can move independently & can see in two different directions at the same time.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
The highest kangaroo leap recorded is 10 ft and the longest is 42 ft
Along with its length neck, the giraffe has a very long tongue - more than a foot and a half long. A giraffe can clean its more...

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
3) The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?
The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
4) There is a river you must cross. But it is filled with crocodiles. How do you manage it?
You swim across - all the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.