Attend Jokes

Back in those days, it was required that in order for a student to receive credit for a particular
course, a card (listing of his/her courses) had to be signed by the instructor/lecturer. It was, at
the time, policy that students attend their courses. But depending on the size of the class, it was
often quite possible to receive credit, even after not attending the class regularly.
Not so, with this physics professor... if he didn't recognize you, you would have to repeat the course
(& attend!).
On one occasion, a student handed his card to be signed. The professor looked at the name, then at
the student, and said, "I've never seen you in my class," and handed back the card. Now being a
science student, he naturally thought quickly, and proceeded to the end of the line. When he was at
the front again, he handed his card to the prof. The prof looked at the name, then at the student,
and said, "You look familiar. OK," more...

Teacher: Tomorrow There Will Be A Lecture On Sun. Everyone Must Attend It.
Raju: No Ma'm! I Will Not Be Able To Attend It.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My Mother Will Not Allow Me To Go So Far!!!

You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.

Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on. "Well," said the other brother, "you said to do something nice for Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo."

Eugene: It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays.(Oregon Dumb Laws)