Giraffe Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand. The teacher says, “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck? ” Sally holds up her hand and asks “is it a giraffe? ” “Very good Sally, ” the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands. “See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes? ” Billy holds up his hand and says, “It’s a zebra. ” “Very good Billy, ” the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal. “See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this? ” Still no one guesses. “Let me give you another hint, it’s something your mother calls your father. ” Little Johnny shouts out, “Is it a horny bastard? ”

An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
"Why did you do that?" asks a passing giraffe.
"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory!" says the giraffe.
"Yes," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. He ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.
"What did you do that for?" asked a passing giraffe.
"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory!" commented the giraffe.
"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall."

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and says, "A beer for me, and one for the giraffe, please." So they proceed to drink. Then: "... a shot for me and one for the giraffe, too" And they keep drinking all evening.
Finally the giraffe passes out on the floor of the bar. The guy pays the tab and gets up to leave.
The bartender shouts out, "Hey! You're not going to leave that lying on the floor, are you?"
The guy replies "That's not a lion... it's a giraffe."

Q.How do you put a elephant in the fridge?
A.open the door and put it in.
Q.How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
A.open the door take the elephant out and putit in.
Q.there is a lion, a monkey, and a elephant where is the giraffe?
A.in the fridge.

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephants tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe."Yep!" said the elephant. "Ive got Turtle-Recall."

What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? An aardvark with the sniffles!