Giraffe Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a' professional smart person' by your friends. You can scroll down for answers. There are 4 questions. They are not that difficult. 1)How do you put an elephant into a refridgerator? * * * * Answer: Open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door. * 2)How do you put a giraffe into a refridgerator? * * * * Answer: Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. * 3)The animals are having an animal meeting. All the animals attend except for one. Which one does not attend? * * * * Answer:The giraffe. The giraffe is in the refridgerator. * 4)You must cross a crocodile-infested river. How do you manage it? * * * * Answer:You swim across. All of the animals are attending the animal meeting.

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up his/her hands. "See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal."See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."

A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke.
So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the more...

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He walks up to the bar and takes a seat, the giraffe does the same. The man orders a beer for himself and a double scotch for the giraffe. They both proceed to drink and after a while they order the same again. They continue all night, ordering the same drinks, drinking them and ordering another load untill suddenly the giraffe falls off his stool and lies unconscious on the floor. The man gets up of his stool and heads for the door, The barman shouts at him as he heads out the door' You can't leave that lyin'' ere!' to which the man replies,' Its not a lion its a giraffe!

Animal Quiz
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She
holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone
knows what it is. No one raises their hand.
The teacher says "
See its long neck? What animal has a
long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks, "
Is it a
giraffe?"
"
Very good Sally,"
the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the
students holds up their hands. "
See the stripes on this
animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his
hand and says, "
It's a zebra."
"
Very good Billy,"
the
teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the
students recognized the animal. "
See the big antlers on
this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no
one guesses.
"
Let me give you another hint, it's something more...

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a ‘professional smart person’ by your friends.
You can scroll down for answers. There are 4 questions. They are not that difficult.
1)How do you put an elephant into a refridgerator?
*
*
*
*
Answer: Open the door, put in the elephant, and close the door.
*
2)How do you put a giraffe into a refridgerator?
*
*
*
*
Answer: Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
*
3)The animals are having an animal meeting. All the animals attend except for one. Which one does not attend?
*
*
*
*
Answer: The giraffe. The giraffe is in the refridgerator.
*
4)You must cross a crocodile-infested river. How do you manage it?
*
*
*
*
Answer: You swim across. All of the animals are attending the animal meeting.

One fine day Mister Rabbit goes running around the forest.

He sees a giraffe rolling a joint. "Giraffe, giraffe! Why do you do drugs? Come run with me instead!"

So the giraffe stops rolling his joint and runs with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing lines. Says the rabbit: "Elephant, elephant, why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."

So the elephant stops and goes running with the two. Then they come across a lion preparing a syringe. "Lion, lion," cries the rabbit, "Why do you do drugs? Come run with us instead."

The lion, with a mighty roar, bangs the rabbit to smithereens.

"No!" the giraffe and the elephant cry. "Why did you do that? All he was trying to do was to help you out!"

The lion replied, "Damn rabbit always makes me run around the friggin' forest when he's on speed!"